Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Boobs & Butts

One of my favorite of the really bad reality shows is Dr. 90210. An entire show dedicated to superficiality and low self esteem. And I am not solely talking about the patients. Hey, I am all for plastic surgery if it is going to make you feel better about yourself, but at some point the doctors need to step in and say, "you know, I don't think you should do this."

Let's start with Dr. Matlock. This doctor surrounds himself with surgically enhanced women all the time. He has a different car for each day of the week. He has Armani and D&G scrub caps. He can obviously afford these things, but he is truly one of the most tragic people on the show. This man is so cleary gay and hiding from the truth. In fact, his friends threw him a "Sexy Back" party to help him get back into the dating game after ending a 4 year relationship. How do you invite people to a party like this? "Hey, I'm going to a party for a closeted friend of mine who just ended a relationship with a woman and needs to get back into the dating scene so please come and hang all over him." Or is it more like, "Hey wanna come to a party for a rich plastic surgeon and get on TV?" Based on the showing, I tend to think it was the latter. We also were treated to seeing Dr. Matlock perform liposuction on his brother and his brother's girlfriend. Neither of them needed this surgery. They were both stick thin before the surgery. We're talking going from size 0 to a -1. This was one of those times where a true physician would have said no to doing it. Dude, just come out and deal with your own reality.

This season we were introduced to a new surgoen, former Big Brother contestant, Dr. Will Kirby. He does cosmetic dermatology. He is the doctor who performed the tattoo removal on Deal or No Deal model Tameka. So far he seems decent, but you never know what will be revealed as the season progresses.

Finally onto the star of the series, Dr. Robert Rey. Will someone please teach this man how to dress!!! He dresses like a pimp. A bad 80's pimp. Plaid suits with bright yellow shits and purple ties?!? To quote Grandpa Howard from Sixteen Candles "No, he's not retarded!" He is so condescending to his female patients. He refers to them all as girls. Never women. I don't think he would know how to treat a woman. Case in point, his anorexic wife Hayley. She is beyond tragic. She is a real life Nora from Ibsen's Doll House. He speaks so condescendingly to her. He doesn't even treat her like an adult. Admittedly she is dumber than a box of rocks, but don't talk about her like she is a child. Yes, she did reheat a store bought roast chicken in the plastic box it came in, melting the box all over the oven and the chicken, but you don't talk smack about your wife. Admittedly, Dr. Rey is trying to be a better father this season than he has been in the past, but he doesn't understand how to be a parent. He went out and bought a full set of adult size instruments for his family, including an electric guitar for his 4 year old daughter. He wants them to be like the Partridge Family, but none of them can sing or play (much like the real Partridge's). The man's heart may be in the right place, but he needs to learn that buying toys doesn't make you a good parent. Be home and spend time with your kids. Maybe then your wife will have time to eat. You do great work as a surgeon, but learn how to treat people. Your bedside manner needs a lift.


Anonymous said...

shut up...dr will from big brother actually made something of himself after winning $500K on reality tv?!? maybe i shouldn't laugh so hard at these reality tv peeps!

Such said...

Why should I shut up? I didn't make any disparaging remarks about Dr. Will. I said he seems like a nice guy, but I am reserving judgment until I've seen more of him. And moreover, this is my blog.