Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sprayed with RoundUp?

What is going on with Weeds this season? Last night was the second episode of the new season and it totally fell flat. Celia walking down the street drunk was funny, but overall the show is losing its stride. If this was the first season, I could understand it. The actors would still be getting to know their characters, etc. However, after 2 seasons this is an established show. The actors know their characters and how they relate to one another. Yet for some reason they just aren't gelling this season.

Part of it is for sure the script. The first two episodes covered less than a 24 hour period. Unfortunately, the story did not move that far along. The only thing we know right now is that Nancy owes U-Turn just under $150,000 and that Conrad is going to be U-Turns new farmer growing the Milf Weed. But aside from that, I feel like nothing happened. I understand sometimes things need to slowly build up to a big "tada" moment, but when a show returns for a new season, they need to grab the audience immediately.

Queer as Folk was shocking its first season in an attempt to grab viewers. When it came back for season 2, some of the shock was lessened in favor of more character development. By season 3, it was working nicely. It worked and the show lasted. Weeds could take a lesson from QAF. Your first season you grabbed your audience. Your second season you kept us enthralled, but now you need to hold onto us.

I am rapidly losing interest in the show and I am probably not the only one. This is Weeds' third season. It maintained its momentum between seasons one and two. I don't know what is going on that they cannot seem to get it together this season, but I really hope they do or else I don't see a season 4. Honestly, I think Nancy should just pack up the kids, sell the house, move somewhere new and start over.

Monday, August 20, 2007

So Wrong, Yet Oh So Right!

Paula Deen has done it again. She has taken an already fattening food and upped it, not one, but two levels of fattiness. She started mac & cheese, one of my favorite guilty pleasure foods (but the kind with the sauce already made that you squeeze onto the noodles, not the kind with the powder). No, she didn't use a package for it, but made it from scratch. Once cooked, she put in into a baking dish and refrigerated it. After it cooled, Paula took it out of the fridge and cut the mac & cheese into big squares. Now is where the fun begins. She wrapped each chunk of the cold mac & cheese horizontally with bacon. Yes, bacon. One level of extra fatty goodness right there. When all the pieces were wrapped in bacon, she dredged them in flour, dipped them into beaten egg, then coated each one in bread crumbs. Do you see where this is going? You got it! She then FRIED them in oil until they were all brown and crispy.

While the fat content of this creation is frightening, it looked so effing good. Dip that bad boy into some warm tomato sauce or even ketchup and you got yourself a party. I know I am going to have to try this sometime. My arteries might scream at me, but it'll be worth it. I openly admit that I have tried some of Paula's recipes. Not all were successful, but the ones that are, are damn good. Just not something to make all the time.

Dr. Hotykie

On the recent Dr. 90210, much of the focus was on Dr. Gary Motykie. This guy is a hottie. I definitely get a ping on the gaydar about him, but that is not the focus here. In addition to being a plastic surgeon, he is also a body builder and is currently working out with a trainer to compete in a body building competition. We see him at the gym working out, and this guy is built. His arms are perfectly sculpted and he looks great. However, both he and his trainer talk about what poor shape he is in.

Are they for real?!? People would kill to look that good. But then again, look at his chosen career. He deals all day long with people with body image issues. This is a case of physician heal thyself. He doesn't even say he is in good shape, but not quite ready for competition. He flat out says he is not in good shape at all. If he is not in good shape, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I get that you are constantly surrounded by people seeking their idea of perfection, but you need to get some perspective dude.

Dr. Motykie talks about how he is so busy working he has no time to go out. He manages to find time to take a salsa dancing class and seems to enjoy himself. The female teacher totally hits on him, but he seems not to notice. He is either gay or clueless. But from my perspective, most straight guys would not only notice a hot woman hitting on them, but they would reciprocate. Dr. M. did nothing. Maybe he's working so much to avoid something else?

Big Momma

Last night was the second to last episode of this season of Big Love. As always, it was amazing. They are building up to a huge season end next week. Unfortunately I will be out of the country and unable to watch it and report back. So much happened last night, that just a recap would be quite lengthy, let alone adding my commentary. Therefore I am going to talk about one part of the episode that I felt was the most poignant of anything thing that happened.

Barb attempted to mend the relationship with her mother. Her mother does not approve of Barb being part of a plural marriage. Barb reads about her mother's upcoming wedding and decides to try to fix their relationship. Barb shows up at her mother's and her mother summarily dismisses her, although you can tell it breaks her heart to do it. Barb returns the next day and tells her mother that her son Ben wants to start dating twins and live "the principle." For this, her mother has time. She tells Barb to bring the children to the wedding and then leave Ben with her. She will take Ben for the remainder of the summer. This way Ben will see other options for his life. Barb agrees.

On the day of the wedding Barb takes the kids to the reception. When she arrives, her mother comes out and asks why Barb is all dressed up. Apparently the invitation was for the children only, not Barb. But, Barb stands firm and gets in. Once there, Ben learns of the plans for him to stay and he calls Bill. Bill shows up and enters the reception. However, he leaves Margene in the car. Bill confronts Barb about it and she says, "it must have slipped my mind." This is her passive aggressive revenge on Bill for him failing to tell her about he and Margene going to dinner with the people from Weber gaming. Margene, all alone and pissed off in the car calls Nicki. Nicki packs up all the kids and comes to the wedding. There is a big show down between Barb's mother and Barb's family. The wives ask Barb if she is leaving them. At the end, Barb choses to return home with Bill and the rest of her family.

While much more did happen last night, to me this was the most interesting part of the show. Barb is clearly torn. On one hand, she loves Bill and is living the principal. On the other, she doesn't want it for her son. Barb appears to be a hypocrite, but is she really? She loves her husband and children, and if she had her choice she would not be in a plural marriage. She doesn't want to lose Bill or the kids, so she must tolerate polygamy. She doesn't like it, but she loves her family. Barb wants her children to live a more open life and not face the problems that come with polygamy. Barb is protecting her son and giving him the chance to see what else there is out there besides "the principle." But what kind of example is she giving her kids? She is not happy with her life, yet she chooses to stay rather than making the difficult, but ultimately more fulfilling choice to leave and live her life without Bill and her sister-wives.

There was also something interesting in Barb's mother. She loves Barb, but cannot accept this part of Barb's life. This was a good analogy for anyone who is shunned by their own family for one reason or another. Barb's plural marriage does not affect who she is as a person. She is still the same daughter she was before she and Bill married Nicki. Unfortunately, the idea of unconditional love doesn't exist here. You can disapprove of choices your child makes, but she is still your child. Barb's life isn't hurting anyone, yet this one thing changes her relationship with her family of origin. Hopefully someday her family will come around and realize Barb is still Barb. I also found it interesting that Barb's mother feels that Barb is being controlled by Bill, yet her new husband demanded that they be sealed in a Mormon ceremony and she be unsealed from Barb's father. Like mother, like daughter. Each is controlled by her respective husband, but neither is willing to face it. Maybe part of the reason for the rift between Barb and her mother is that her mother sees Barb making the same mistakes she did and she doesn't want to watch it.

There will for sure be a lot happening next week in the season finale. But given the choice between being in Europe or watching this, I choose Europe. See you all in about 2 weeks.


Friday, August 17, 2007

I Might Consider Staying There

While past episodes of Welcome to the Parker made me not want to stay there, this week's had the reverse effect - partially. I'll get to that shortly, but first I want to talk about the writing on the show. Have you ever noticed that all these "reality" shows have writers? If this is supposed to be real, then I would think there was no need for writers. However, Welcome to the Parker makes full use of their writing staff. Each shows begins much like Fastasy Island did. The show starts with John Federbusch, Chief Concierge, acting like he is checking the computer to see who is checking in that day. He will announce one of the people/parties checking in and then we see the guests getting out of their car and the grand front doors being opened for them. It is beyond bad acting and writing. I know John is not an actor, so I will cut him some slack, but the whole thing is just so cheesy.

Last night focused on two groups at the hotel. The first executives from an adult toy store called The Pleasure Chest. They want to get their products put into the Parker's minibar. The second group was Charisma Arts Charm School for Men. The group consisted of the 2 men who run the school and 3 students. They were here to learn how to talk to women. And of course there was more of the behind the scenes drama with the Parker Staff.

The Pleasure Chest group walked around the property talking to various members of the hotel staff to see what they thought of having sex kits available for guests. Everyone seemed to think it was a good idea from the guest perspective, but there were reservations about how management would react. Staff members said they often got calls from guests requesting things like massage oil and other intimate items. As General Manager Thomas put it, "The Parker is all about sex." Now you know why I want to stay there. And I will admit that seeing this place makes it very clear that it is designed for people to come and get freaky - in the privacy of their rooms of course. There is even an indoor pool that is clothing optional. In fact the woman from the Pleasure Chest group is shown taking a naked swim - not something I needed to see. The Pleasure Chest exec show their products to Lynn, the HR director in an informal meeting. Lynn says, "Our clientele is sophisticated as far as sexual ideas and experiences, that's the atmosphere. But, at least it's done in good taste." In a private moment, away from the execs, she says, "I don't want open vibrators or dildos all over the place. I think that would be inappropriate." Ya think? As the HR director, her concern is about staff being uncomfortable at what they might find walking into a room.

To test staff reactions at seeing sex toys on display in a room, the woman from the group puts all the products they have all over her room. She then calls room service to get some coffee delivered. When the woman from room service delivers the coffee, she is visibly uncomfortable. After this, the Pleasure Chest gal says that she now understands Lynn's concerns. The group realizes that they need to modify the packaging so it is subtle and suggestive, not in your face, "a whisper, not a shout," as they put it. When the time comes to meet with Parker management, they show the managers the new packaging they created. Now each kit is in a box or sleeve that the guest can open to see the contents without opening the items themselves. The mangers decide to test market some of the kits. Bravo! Keep reading to see who they tested one on.

On to Charisma Arts. The 3 students in the group were so sad. They were so shy and awkward. One of them is an emergency room psychiatrist who admits he is afraid to talk to people. Not such a good career choice there genius. In one scene the 3 men are having drinks at the bar and the server asks what they are at the hotel for. They explain they are here for classes in how to "be ladies men," to which the server replies, "Oh! You're socially retarded." I know that is so not PC, but it is hysterical. The guys who run the school ask Michael to get them 30 young, attractive, single women for a cocktail party so these guys can try their new skills at the end of the weekend. Michael has now become a pimp and he knows that if he screws this up, his job is done. Thomas even says that Michael better get the girls or he is in trouble. So Michael, asks every woman on the staff to round up their friends and bring them. Michael admits that he doesn't know how to talk to women and doesn't know any outside the staff. Michael even sits in on one of the classes hoping to pick up some tips that he could use to pick up a guy. Here's tip Michael, stop being such a prissy queen.

We get to see part of one of the classes in action. It starts with one of the teachers saying, "Welcome to Charisma Arts Charm School. We're going to teach you how to meet and connect with women." This doesn't sound like a charm school to me. It sounds more like, "How to be a player." Various Parker staff members spy on the class as it goes on. One staff member says, "it is like an AA meeting for guys who can't get chicks."

When the cocktail party finally arrives, Michael is saved because 30 women are there. Watching the men interact with these women is so uncomfortable. It is almost as if some of the women, if not all, were told to act interested in these guys. It is so awkward. However, one of the 3 students, a little asian man named Nghia (you figure that one out) appears to make a connection with one woman. The teachers pull him aside and tell him to take her somewhere more private. Nghia and this woman walk to a more secluded spot and start talking. He keeps asking for a kiss and she keeps laughing it off. Finally one of the teachers pulls him aside again and tell him to tell her to close her eyes and then give her a kiss. What the hell kind of advice is this?!? Hey, go assault that woman! But being an obedient student, Nghia does it. And surprisingly, the woman reacts favorably and kisses him back. Nghia later admits that was his first kiss. The man is 30! He says that the whole thing was "natural and organic." Um, you have someone telling you what to do the whole time. How is that natural?

Now for the staff drama. In the staff meeting, Samir says they are overbooked by 14 rooms. The Who is checking in and they need the room. So the staff sets about trying to get 14 rooms. Samir talks about how they will have to "walk" guests to another hotel and pay for it. With only 4 hours before check in, they still needed 9 rooms. Of course by the time The Who got there, they had all 14 rooms needed. What really shocked me was that they would 1. overbook the hotel - they have a computer system that show availability; 2. they admit to doing it; and 3. they would treat guests so badly as to force them out just to make room for someone else. Yes, I know the hotel is there to make money and a rock group is likely to spend a lot more money than a couple, but still, this is not right. If I have a reservation at a hotel, I expect it to be honored when I show up and not told I am being sent elsewhere.

We got to see this exact thing happen. A couple comes to check in and get told the hotel is overbooked, but that the Parker arranged for them to spend the night at another hotel on them as well as comping the rest of their stay at the Parker. Not too bad, but still. When they are told where they are being put up for the night, the woman in the couple says, "No way." She says she is willing to be put up at the Marriott though. Thomas eventually comes back to them and says he got them a room at the Marriott for the night and of course the Parker is paying for it. When the couple returns the next day, at check in they are handed a gift, compliments on the management. You got it, one of the sex kits from The Pleasure Chest. The episode ends with the man from couple putting the Do Not Disturb sign on the door and you hear a buzzing sound coming from in the room.

Once again, the hotel appears to be poorly run. But they do compensate their guests well for inconveniences and there is definitely a sexually charged atmosphere on the property. So maybe it is worth going for a night.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Tori & Dean: Innsane

This week saw the season premier of Tori & Dean: Inn Love, Oxygen's reality show that follows the lives of Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott as they leave Hollywood to open a bed & breakfast in Fall Brook, CA. I know, you're already thinking, "WOW! That is awesome. I can't wait to watch!" This show is so bad, it's well, bad. Not Being Bobby Brown bad, more like Shear Genius bad. So rather than watch it yourself, I am here to watch and review for you.

Last season was all about Tori & Dean having to sell all of Tori's stuff (because Dean didn't have any to begin with) so they can afford to buy a B&B. We got to see them look for the right place, host a garage sale and eventually remodel and open the B&B. All is this happened while Tori was very pregnant. The season ended with baby Liam being born. This season begins with Tori and Dean returning to the B&B with Liam and the nanny, Patsy. Patsy is a large black woman with orange hair...dyed orange! How do I know, well I will tell you shortly.

Upon arriving at the B&B, Patsy says that she was supposed to be the nanny for 3 months, "But that was several months ago." SEVERAL MONTHS!!! They were away from their own business for several months! I believe in parents taking time off from work to be with their newborn child, but this is their income. It is not like they are getting paid family leave. Yes, they did have someone running the place for them, but that is not the same as the owners being there. If it had been running for a while, then I could understand this, but the B&B was only open a few weeks when they left it. You cannot just abandon a new business. The man running the B&B in their stead was going over all the bills with them that still have to be paid. Apparently they aren't making enough money to cover the costs of running the place. Dean even said, "I never considered the costs of running a B&B." Hello! Did you think you got gas, water, electric, etc for free? And of course all the yard work is done by people who just want the honor of cutting their grounds. Get real! These geniuses should not be doing this.

When talking about the nanny, Tori says that Patsy reminds her of her childhood nanny and so Patsy is there as much for her as for Liam. A grown woman needing a nanny?!? She is insane. Don't get me wrong, I love Tori. I love that she makes fun of herself. Her freak out in Trick should have earned her an Oscar. But come on lady, you are an adult now. You have a baby. Time to grow the fuck up!

I know you've been waiting to read how I know Patsy's hair is not natural orange. Wait no longer. In one scene we see Tori dying Patsy's hair. While applying the dye, Tori says that she once tried dying her pubes so that the carpet would match the drapes. Unfortunately something went wrong and they turned purple. Tori then asks Patsy's if she ever did that to which Patsy replies that she doesn't even have carpet any more. It is down to bare wood. Who talks to their baby's nanny about dying their pubes? Is it just me, or is that a little too much an overshare?

In the midst of the worries about money for the B&B, Tori gets an invitation to appear on a British talk show. This comes only a few days after returning to the B&B. Tori of course wants to go, but Dean for once is thinking and realizes this may not be the best time. Nevertheless, Tori guilts Dean into going by explaining that as a child she didn't get to travel much because her father, Aaron Spelling of Charlie's Angels, Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, etc. fame, was afraid of flying. Umm, Tori, you had plenty of chances and your own money to travel anywhere you wanted when you were on 90210 and even after. Now is the time to be responsible. You don't have any money coming in. It would probably be better to work on the problems at the B&B. You know problems like the lack of money to keep it afloat, the mice. Those little things.

Now as far as their money issues go, Dean said they are now dipping into their own pockets to keep things running. Obviously that is not a good way to run a business. You want the business to make money. At least enough to support itself. Anything above that is great. I would think that is the first thing one learns in business school. If your business is not making enough to keep sustain itself, something needs to be fixed. You have to wonder what is wrong with them? They are getting FREE advertising by having this show. You would think people would be rushing to stay there. Maybe the problem is they bought a place in the middle of nowhere. There is nothing around for tourists. Remember rule 1 of real estate: location, location, location. Also if I were planning on opening a business, I would do a lot of research first. I would want to know expected costs, the failure rate, etc. I imagine B&B's a much like restaurants in that more go out of business annually than open. I am all for people exploring options, but sinking all your money into a venture more likely to fail than succeed is never a good idea.

Dean, grow some balls and tell your wife she needs to wake up and either make another movie or start figuring out what to do. Tori, I love you, but you have got to get a clue. You have responsibilities. You are a mother. What kind of role model do you want to be for your child?

I wish Tori would go back to doing So Notorious. Now that was an awesome show. But as she won't be doing that, I'll keep tabs on the B&B.

Decadent & Delicious

No, I am not talking about ice cream. I am talking about the BBC series Hotel Babylon. This is my favorite new show. It may well become my new favorite show, but only time will tell. The series is set in a luxury boutique hotel in London, Hotel Babylon. While you need reservations to check in, once you are in, there are no reservations. At Hotel Babylon, guests receive 5 star treatment and can live out their every fantasy, often with assistance from the staff.

Unlike shows like Love Boat where the guests were the main focus of each episode, on Hotel Babylon, the staff that comes first. Every episdoe has new guests in the hotel and we see what happens with them, but the real drama is all about the staff. Deputy manager Charlie is our guide to what happens behind the scenes. His voice overs open and close each episode, much like Carrie on Sex and the City. Charlie’s boss is Rebecca Mitchell, the hotel’s no-nonsense General Manager. She’s determined to keep guests coming back for more, but running a tight ship has taken a toll on her private life. Charlie tries not to get distracted from his ambitions by Jackie the straight-talking, stunning Head of Housekeeping or his one night stand, the vicious-yet-gorgeous Head Receptionist, Anna. Charlie's savior is the always dependable super-concierge Tony, who prides himself on being able to fix anything for anybody, anytime.

Now that you have some background let me tell you about last night. The episode began with Tony doing the morning rounds of collecting the prostitutes he arranged for guests the night before. Rebecca likes them all out of the hotel as early as possible. During his rounds, he mistakes a hotel guest for a hooker. Rebecca ends up having to comp the guest's stay. However later on a woman in the room of a hotel regular claims to be the guest's wife. But she looks like a hooker, has no luggage and the staff have never seen her before. Rebecca is convinced she is a prostitute and tells Tony to get rid of her. Tony refuses saying he thinks she is a guest and does not want to make the same mistake twice in a day. By the end of the episode, we find out she is in fact this old man's wife and her luggage was lost which is why she had no clothing. She used to be a dancer, but married out of it. As this couple is checking out, she gives Tony a 2000 pound tip, and when she hugs him she whispers, "I only married him for his money. When his heart gives out, I'll be back for you." So I guess Rebecca was right.

In last night's show we also learned that Charlie did some time in jail. We don't yet know what for or how long. He is now being blackmailed by a fellow former inmate who is trying to start his own car service. He asks Charlie to send him some business and makes it clear that he will tell Rebecca about Charlie's past if Charlie doesn't comply. Charlie is clearly trying to erase his past and make a new life for himself. Unfortunately his efforts may be thwarted. He goes out of his way to make sure every guest is attended to, even if it means playing a tambourine as backup for a guest pitching a jingle for tampons. He is the guy you want to root for.

Charlie's life at the hotel is being further complicated by his affair with Jackie. She continally asks him to do a room inspection, which is their code for, "let's do the nasty." They will go to an empty room, do the deed and then hang a "make up room" sign on the door when they leave. Not a bad perk. While this affair is not complicated, the complication is in the form an Anna the receptionist. She and Charlie had an affair sometime in the past. She was competing for he Deputy Manager job that went to Charlie. Now as Head Receptionist, she seems to be out to make Charlie's life hell while worming her way into Rebecca's good graces. She is one of those people who will not let anyone get in their way and will do anything to get ahead. If Rebecca is smart, she will keep a close eye on Anna. Anna will not be happy until she has Rebecca's job.

Finally about Rebecca. There is a lot going on there. She has been staying at the hotel every night. Boxes of her clothes were mysteriously delivered to the hotel last night. We learned that she is married, however we don't know why she is now living at the hotel. Last week someone painted "SLUT" across her car. So apparently things at home aren't going well. My guess is that she had an affair, her husband found out and kicked her out.

At the end of the episode, Tony takes the tip he received from the non-hooker and puts it in a hiding place behind a photo of the hotel's former Head Concierge. When he opens a panel in the wall behind the photo, we see hundreds upon hundred of pounds in cash sitting there. Why he isn't putting it in a safe, let alone a bank, is a mystery yet to be solved.

What is in Charlie's past? What is going on in Rebecca's marriage? Why is Tony keeping all this cash in a wall? So much to find out about. Hotel Babylon is well written, well directed and well acted. The show is seemless. It is steamy yet classy as only the British can do. The style with which the women on this show can tell someone to fuck off is a beautiful thing to watch.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Big Love - Fiction and Fact

I am addicted to Big Love on HBO. For those of you who don't watch the show, you are missing out. The show follows the lives of Bill Hendrickson and his 3, yes 3, wives. They are polygamists. Bill's second wife, Nicki lived her entire life at the Juniper Creek compound where her father Roman Grant is the prophet, dictating all goings on there. Bill's third wife is Margene, a young woman who is searching for belonging and believes she has found that with Bill and his wives.

The interplay between all the characters is beyond complex and at times confusing. Sometimes I think my head it going to explode as I listen to and watch these people. Each of Bill's wives serves a different role: Barb is Bill's true wife, Nicki is his spiritual wife, and Margene is his mistress wife. As the show goes on, it becomes more apparent that Barb really does not want to be in a polygamous marriage, but loves Bill too much to leave. Nicki is all about living "the principle" and wants to be as holy as possible. She is torn between her family of origin, Roman Grant, and her family with Bill, Barb and Margene. Margene just wants to feel safe and loved, to fill a need she never had met in her upbringing.

This season has given much more insight into each of the wives. Nicki is by far the most compelling to me. Barb is a doormat, allowing her love for the Bill she married to control her. Margene is still growing up and will cling to anyone who shows her any attention. Nicki is becoming increasingly complex. She is equally attached to her father and life on the compound and her husband and life in the secular world. But most of all, she is looking out for Nicki above all else. Nicki tries to play Barb and Margene against one another all the time. When push comes to shove she only wants what is best for Nicki, not for either of her families.

Nicki's behavior is the most disturbing of anyone on the show. Her motivation is never clear, aside from her own best interests. Last night I found more clarity about Nicki, not on Big Love, but on another show, The Secret Lives of Women. TSLW is a series on WeTV. Last night was all about polygamy. As big a fan I am of character crossing from one show to another, this was even better. This was like getting Cliff's Notes for Big Love.

Hearing real life polygamous speak out was fascinating. The show gave a very balanced perspective on the issue. We heard from women who love being sister wives, women who didn't like and even women who escaped life on a compound similar to Big Love's juniper Creek. In this show we met Vickey and Valerie, twin sisters married to the same man (they have an additional sister-wife and 21 kids between the three of them). These were modern looking women you would never suspect of being polygamists, much like Barb. Moreover, Valerie was in a polygamous marriage prior to her current one. She left that one, was visiting her sister and "felt this energy" with her brother-in-law. Vickey brought it up to her husband about her sister becoming a sister wife. On the surface Vickey seemed to like the life they lead, if you listened carefully that is not the case. When answering the question of "how she can do this?" Vickey replied, "it is a deeply held spiritual belief, and when I think of that, then it is easier for me to keep going on. It is an important tenet of my religion." When I heard this I had to pause the TV. My head almost exploded. Lady, listen to yourself!!! You need to think about your religion in order to go on. And, even then it is only making it EASIER, not easy. She is openly admitting that this is not a life she is enjoying, but because her religion mandates it, she is willing to do it. This kind of blind faith is scary. Especially when someone admits they don't like it, but do it anyway. Vickey is like Barb. She doesn't like polygamy, but is willing to go along with it because her religion says to. But in Barb's case, she and Bill changed from being LDS (standard mormons) to polygamists well into their marriage.

The show also featured Ruth and Nancy, two sister wifes who grew up in plural families. They are like Nicki on Big Love. To them plural marriage is a blessing and an obligation. It is all about living the principle. They did seem truly content with being part of plural marriages. This was how they were both raised so for them it is normal. There was s true sense of happiness and community in their family. Each of the wives had a role to play. As one was a teacher, the children all went to her for help with homework, another wife did the cooking, etc. In situations like this, I have no issues with polygamy - everyone wanted to be part of this family and they all supported one another. They were happily living in accordance with their beliefs.

On the other end of the spectrum were Rachael and her mother Pauline. Rachael eventually was forced to become her own step-father's 17th wife. She had to marry the man who raised her from the time she was 7 years old. She even had a child with him. Now follow this: Her daughter was her mother's (Pauline's) grandchild and Pauline's husband's granddaughter. BUT this baby was also Rachael's husband's daughter. As Rachael and Pauline had the same husband, Rachael's daughter's father was also her grandfather. How messed up is that?!? Rachael and her mother sister-wife Pauline eventually left the plural marriage.

I have no problem with polygamy as long as it is between CONSENTING ADULTS. This program showed that some young girls, often as young as 14, are forced into marriage. This is where I have a HUGE problem. Anyone under 18 is not mature enough to get married. Most people under 25 aren't either, but that is a different story. We saw the story of Fawn who at 16 ran away from the TLC. TLC is Warren Jeff's infamous compound in Colorado City, AZ. She left because against her will, her father entered her name in the "Joy Book." The "Joy Book" is a listing of all girls eligible for marriage. At 16 Fawn was put up for marriage. She was assisted in her escape by Flora Jessup, a Harriet Tubman for Mormon women and girls trying to escape from life on compounds.

Big Love shows all aspects of plural marriage within one family. If you want to blow your mind watch this show. Whereas it takes entire cast on a daytime soap to generate this much conflict, on Big Love you get it all within one family. It is a huge extended family, but a family none the less. Next week I will just discuss Big Love with out the extra Cliff's Notes. Instead there will be more about the fictitious drama and none of the real drama.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


This is the video of the inmates at a Philippine prison doing Thriller. I particularly like the "girl." Not a bad version. And not a bad way to spend time in jail.


Californication, a new Showtime series, debuted last night. I should have skipped it and gone to bed earlier. What a piece of crap. The show stars David Duchovny as Hank Moody, a writer suffering from writer's block trying to get his career back on track. Basically the show is him having one night stand after one night sand. Perhaps this will become a story of fall and redemption and by the end Hank will realize that one night stands are not the way to move forward in one's life.

This show does have some funny moments though. The best last night was when in the middle of doing the nasty, Hank's partner du jour Mia punches him in the face...twice. It was hysterical. Later we learn that Mia is the 16 year old daughter of Hank's ex-girlfriend's fiancée. Yikes!!! But the MOST upsetting this about this is that Mia is played by Madeline Zima. Ms. Zima played Gracie, the youngest child on The Nanny. Digest that for a moment. I saw little Gracie's boobies last night while she was having sex with David Duchovny and simultaneously punching him in the face.

To me it seemed more like a continuation of Duchovny's other Showtime series, The Red Shoe Diaries, only this time he is the one who gets to have sex. I don't think I will be watching again.

Cannabis Culture Continues

Last night was the season premier of Weeds on Showtime. I was so looking forward the new season, but in my opinion, it fell flat. On the plus side, the show did pick up exactly where the last season ended. They didn't cop out and pick up a later on when all the cliff hangers were neatly resolved. Nancy and Conrad were still being held at gun point by U-Turn and the Armenians (no that is not the name of a rock band), Shane was still on the road with Uncle Andy's flaky ex-girlfriend and Silas was pulled over by the cops and Celia for stealing surveillance cameras and no "Drug Free Zone" signs (he was helping mom's business), and all of Nancy's crop was in the trunk. Doug and Dean were still fighting in the bathroom about Doug have slept with Celia (Dean's wife) and Dean having told Doug's wife about the affair. We were left with lots of cliffhangers and I was so looking forward to seeing how they would get resolved.

Spoiler alert, here is a recap of last night:

Nancy was able to convince U-turn and the rest of the gunmen to let her leave and find the missing crop. Celia took Silas' car and found the stash in the back. Nancy, trying to track down Silas to get the stash learns Nancy has the car and is waiting for her at Nancy's house. The episode ends with Celia laying by Nancy's pool and Nancy staring at her entire crop floating in the water. This brought tears to my eyes. All that broccoli wasted. Hopefully it is salvageable.

Having found Silas in the police station, Nancy opted to leave him there so she would at least know where he was. Nancy still has no idea that Shane is missing. In fact Andy's girlfriend abandoned him at a truck stop, but at least she left him the keys to the van so he can drive home. Andy shows up at the truck stop 2 hours after Shane was left and learns Shane left an hour earlier after driving the van around the parking lot for an hour. Andy sets out on foot to find Shane and eventually finds the van, but no Shane. Still no word on where Shane is. All this going on and Nancy still has not had time to fully process the fact that her second husband, a DEA agent, was just killed.

End of recap:

I was hoping that Celia, upon finding the stash, would tell Nancy she wanted in. Not only would it be entertaining to see Nancy involved in the business, but also it would have forced Celia and her estranged husband Dean to work together. Moreover, they would also have to work with Doug who was Dean's best friend until Dean found out that Doug and Celia were sleeping together. Do you see the drama/comedy possible there? It was a no brainer.

I felt like there was no flow to this episode. The episodes usually feel seemless and are highly absorbing. This episode failed to grab me. This is not good for a season premier. This episode is the time for the producers to grab viewers and remind us of what a great series this is. In this regard, they failed. I will keep watching, but I am not as excited for this season as I once was. Hopefully things will pick up soon.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Dynasty of the Animal Kingdom

As I put a plug in for Animal Planet's show Meerkat Manor, I decided I should actually watch it at least once. I did, and it is incredible. The series follows the lives of the Whiskers, a family of meerkats in the Kalahari desert. It sounds like it would be a rather boring documentary, but I assure you that it isn't. It really is fascinating.

Cameras have followed this meerkat mob for almost 10 years. The interplay and family dynamics between the Whiskers is astounding. They are more like the Carringtons than animals. Watching them is truly like watching an Aaron Spelling show.

The Whiskers occupy a 2 square mile area in the Kalahari. Flower, a dominant female, is the leader of the Whisker mob. She decides when and where to forage for food, when the mob will move to a new borrow and generally controls the entire family. In the episode I watched today, Flower gave birth to 3 pups at the same time her daughter Mozart was pregnant. Apparently if the dominant female is preggers, no other female in the family is supposed to be. After Flower delivered her pups, the entire family gathered to help with the pups and to groom Flower. Everyone except Mozart that is. Finally Mozart tried to pay her mother attention, but she was spurned. When the pups could finally leave the burrow to go on a foraging trip, rather than return at the end of the day, Flower led the Whiskers to a new burrow a mile away. However, Mozart was not on this trip. Flower had the entire family abandon Mozart to make sure their would be sufficient resources for her own pups and eliminate the competition from Mozart's. Mozart gave birth alone and when she finally had to leave her burrow to get food, a rival family came in and killed the pups.

Meerkats are amazing. They act as a community. Their day starts with everyone clearing the entrances to the burrow. With that done they then stand up to sunbathe for a little bit. Following this, they then go forage for food. Every member of the family goes on the hunt, unless they are assigned to watch newborn pups. After foraging, they all return together to their burrow. At sunset they all gather at the entrance to the burrow to watch the sun go down. They literally stand up and watch it. Then they all go into the burrow to sleep. They truly embody communal living. There are fights, politics and a strong hierarchy. The Whiskers also have rival meerkat mobs that try and take over their manor. It is like the Jets and the Sharks fighting over turf.

I didn't know anything about meerkats prior to watching this show. Now I see what remarkable animals they are. They display amazing intelligence and organization. Human beings could learn a great deal about how to live and act from watching them. I encourage everyone to watch Meerkat Manor at least once. It is on Animal Planet Fridays at 8:30PM.

Friday, August 10, 2007

If this is the welcome, I'd hate to see a refusal

Bravo's new reality show, Welcome to the Parker is all about life at an upscale, 5 star, luxury resort in Palm Springs. After 3 episodes, I don't think I would want to stay here. For what they charge a night, I would expect flawless service. The staff at the Parker has a long way to go before they will truly be deserving of 5 stars.

From what is being aired (we all know many things can be changed in the editing room, so I take everything aired with a grain of salt), the biggest problem at the Parker appears to be Michael Twomey, the Catering Sales Manager. It looks like every event he is involved with has problems, most of which he causes. He wants to be everybody's friend, so rather than saying, "no," to a client's request, or even, "let me get back to you," he immediate says, "yes, no problem." Having planned a wedding, I know that hearing "yes" is what you want. However, Michael agrees to things and then forgets about them. Last night a guest paying $30,000 for a party asked for heat lamps. True to form, Michael promised him 17. But the afternoon of the party, he found out only a few of the heat lamps were working because no one knew to get them ready. He forgot to put in a request for them, so the grounds staff had no idea they were needed. So Michael had to scramble to rent lamps and then passed on the cost to the client. I'm sorry, but Michael dropped the ball on this and should have paid for the rentals. This was his fault. The client should not have even know about the problem. This client regularly hosts big parties at the Parker, you want to keep him happy. Clients should NEVER know of a problem and if it means it cuts into your profit a little, so be it. Michael cost this customer an additional $800 because of his own carelessness.

For an event the week before, the clients, people from Barcardi, specified they wanted certain chairs for the dinner table. Michael told them it wouldn't be a problem. When the table was set, they used folding white chairs, not the ones the clients wanted. But Michael looked around, said everything was great and moved on. It wasn't until later when the clients arrived that the error was noticed...and it had to be pointed out to him. The problem was resolved quickly, but this is a problem that should never have happened.

Michael, here is a little advice for you: When you meet with a client, TAKE NOTES. Pages and pages of notes. Then, type them up, send them to the client to make sure everything is covered, and all costs are spelled out. Have the client sign it and return it to you. Then, make yourself a check list to be sure everything that needs to happen, happens. I know you are new here, but some of this is pretty basic stuff. Also, when your boss calls you in to his office, DO NOT yell at him. Whether your boss is right or wrong, he is still your boss. There is a right way and a wrong way to challenge your boss, yelling is the wrong one.

Not to put all the blame on Michael, there are many others who have problems too. Samir, the Hotel Manager said last night that he often has to cover up for Michael and pick up his slack. While I understand the Samir's desire for things to run smoothly, if he keeps covering for Michael, Michael is not going to learn anything. When you see a problem, call him on it, don't just fix it yourself. Picking up his slack may treat the symptoms, but it does not fix the underlying problem.

Other problems on last night's episode centered about Jill Johnson, a high profile travel agent coming to stay at the Parker. As a travel agent, she has the ability to steer her clients to the Parker. She is a VIP guest and if there was one person that day at the hotel to not mess up around, it was her. But, the Parker staff once again proved itself to be bumbling and incompetent. To begin with, after checking in, the person escorting Ms. Johnson's party to their room had no idea where their room was. He took them to the wrong building. You would expect someone whose job it is to take people to their rooms, would know where every room on the property is located. Once finally in her room, Ms. Johnson had to leave to have a meeting with the hotel Sales Manager, Alysa, that she scheduled before she arrived. Unfortunately, because of the fiasco getting to her room, Ms. Johnson wasn't sure how to get back to the reception area. Once she got to the front desk and asked for Alysa, she was kept waiting for 36 minutes. I could understand if she just showed up and asked for Alysa having to wait a few minutes. However, this was a scheduled meeting.

Once Alysa arrived, she took Ms. Johnson on a tour of the property. Part of this tour involved seeing some guest rooms. Each of the first two rooms they tried to enter was in use by a guest. Now, don't you think you would check the hotel log to see what rooms were unoccupied before going on the tour and making a note of which rooms were available to be shown? I don't know, just seems like common sense to me. To apologize for the error, Alysa sent Ms. Johnson a tray of chocolate chip cookies and chocolate covered strawberries. That would so work for me! While that is very lovely, it still doesn't excuse the lack of professional Alysa showed by keeping her waiting 36 minutes and not know what rooms could be shown. We learned at the end of the episode that Alysa was fired.

Later in the day, after laying at the pool, Ms. Johnson returned to her room and found her bed sheet had a large tear in it. What kind of housekeeping staff would not notice a torn sheet when they make the bed?!?

For me, the best part of last night's show was Drag Queen Bingo. The event was a fund raiser for The Desert AIDS Project. Michael once again had some problems putting this together, but he appeared to do it without letting the clients know about the problems getting gift bags put together. Michael claims he was told about the gift bags at the last minute. OK, go to the bar and get a few bottles of champagne, get gift certificates from the spa and restaurants, get a free night stay. This was a chance for him to make future business for the hotel, but he totally dropped the ball. The nicest gift was actually from two guests at the hotel who said they thought Drag Queen Bingo would be too racy for them but they wanted to be supportive so they made up a basket of spa products. It was truly lovely. They explained that they are southern Christian girls and that their God is a God of tolerance and love for all people and they felt the same. They really tried to stress their not coming to the event had nothing to do with a prejudice against gays. Whether that is true, only they know. But they supported the event. And it looked like a great time was had by all. When you have Coco Peru and Bridgette of Madison County as your Bingo callers, you cannot go wrong.

The one constant plus at the Parker is the food. No matter what the problems with the staff, every guest they show raves about the food and the service in the restaurant. So what does all this mean? Don't book a room at the Parker, but definitely go for dinner.

Despite all these issues, I'll check it out again next week...but I won't check in!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

What is it about Giada?

As the goal of my blog is for me to somehow meet Giada de Laurentiis, I thought I would talk about what it is I find fascinating about her compared to the other food network stars. It's not her cleavage. It is mighty impressive, but if that was what I cared about, I'd be into Sandra Lee as well. It's not just that I love Italian food. And it's not just that she shares stories about her recipes and makes it seem like the viewer is in the kitchen with her. What I truly love is that she loves her food. The only other chef on the food network who you ever see eat her own cooking is Rachael Ray, but she doesn't appeal as much too me as much as Giada. Giada truly loves her food. When she takes a bite of whatever it she has cooked, she closes her eyes as if to shut out the rest of the world and concentrate on the food. You can see it in her face when she eats how much she loves the food.

Everyday Italian actually has two stars, Giada and the food itself. This show is so well produced. You can hear everything that is going on. Every crack, crunch and squish is audible. This is just another element that makes the viewer feel like he is in the kitchen. Giada makes cooking a labor of love, without the labor. When you watch, you really get the feeling that Giada is enjoying every moment of preparing food.

I urge you to check out Everyday Italian. You may not love Giada as much as I do, but I think you'll enjoy the show.

Take it to the Bank

Tyra's talk show aptly named Tyra is now taping it's first episodes as I type this. I mentioned in a prior post that she is in the same building as Martha Stewart. The crowd waiting to get in could not be more different than Martha's audience. Tyra's audience is composed of young black women, all in their 20's. However, it is not their race or age that is the striking contrast with a Martha audience. The major difference is in their appearance. The women going into see Tyra's show look like hookers at a convention. They are all wearing leggings or micro-minis that even Amanda Woodward would think are too small. Also there is not one woman in the crowd wearing lower than a 4 inch heel. And these are not solid chunky heels, but stiletto heels. Tyra may as well be doing a show called America's Next Top Ho. Welcome to the neighborhood Tyra.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Thoughts for Food

I love to cook and I love TV, so it stands to reason that one of my favorite things to watch is the food network. I have learned a great deal and have amassed a considerable number of recipes by watching this channel. One thing I find interesting is the way the network juxtaposes some of its women. Paula Deen is followed by Giada de Laurentiis (did you just hear a choir of angels?). You go from watching deep fried fat to sumptuous Italian cuisine. From full figured to full cleavage. Both shows are entertaining, but I rarely make any of Paula's recipes.

Paula and Giada are both masters of their respective styles of cooking. Paula is a home cook with no formal training. Giada combines family recipes with culinary training. They both make their recipes personal and share stories about them as they cook. I feel like I am sitting across the counter from them as they prepare their dishes. How awesome would that be? To sit across the counter from Giada as she cooks. Sorry, I digress.

Someone needs to do an intervention for Paula. I realize she does southern style cooking which by its nature is not always the most healthy style of cooking. Nevertheless, how about some accountability? Right now she is making fish. You are probably thinking, "Such, fish is healthy." Yes, it is usually, but not when Ms. Deen gets a hold of it. First off she is making catfish. Now, I admit I am not a fan of fish so most fish to me is gross, but catfish is especially nasty. I know it is a southern thing, but it tastes like the bottom of the pond it came from. Personal feelings about fish aside, Ms. Deen takes any of the health benefits away from fish by deep frying it.

On the other end of the spectrum is Giada's show, Everyday Italian. The food is generally easy to prepare, great tasting and not fat laden. I admit it, I adore Giada. I may not like everything she cooks, but I love watching her. Not in a stalkery, peeping kind of way though. I always learn something when I watch Giada, whether it is a new recipe or a new technique. I even have all of her cookbooks. I love it when I watch her make something I have already tried from one of the books. Giada's recipes are perfect. If you follow them your food will come out great. The only times I have had a problem with any of them is when I thought something didn't look right, so I played with it. In those instances, the recipe was right.

No matter what your taste in food, both of these shows are bound to entertain. And who knows, you might even come away with a new recipe. For these women cooking is about sharing a part of yourself with friends and family. So while the food is different the heart of these shows is the same. Perhaps that is why they are back to back.

Boobs & Butts

One of my favorite of the really bad reality shows is Dr. 90210. An entire show dedicated to superficiality and low self esteem. And I am not solely talking about the patients. Hey, I am all for plastic surgery if it is going to make you feel better about yourself, but at some point the doctors need to step in and say, "you know, I don't think you should do this."

Let's start with Dr. Matlock. This doctor surrounds himself with surgically enhanced women all the time. He has a different car for each day of the week. He has Armani and D&G scrub caps. He can obviously afford these things, but he is truly one of the most tragic people on the show. This man is so cleary gay and hiding from the truth. In fact, his friends threw him a "Sexy Back" party to help him get back into the dating game after ending a 4 year relationship. How do you invite people to a party like this? "Hey, I'm going to a party for a closeted friend of mine who just ended a relationship with a woman and needs to get back into the dating scene so please come and hang all over him." Or is it more like, "Hey wanna come to a party for a rich plastic surgeon and get on TV?" Based on the showing, I tend to think it was the latter. We also were treated to seeing Dr. Matlock perform liposuction on his brother and his brother's girlfriend. Neither of them needed this surgery. They were both stick thin before the surgery. We're talking going from size 0 to a -1. This was one of those times where a true physician would have said no to doing it. Dude, just come out and deal with your own reality.

This season we were introduced to a new surgoen, former Big Brother contestant, Dr. Will Kirby. He does cosmetic dermatology. He is the doctor who performed the tattoo removal on Deal or No Deal model Tameka. So far he seems decent, but you never know what will be revealed as the season progresses.

Finally onto the star of the series, Dr. Robert Rey. Will someone please teach this man how to dress!!! He dresses like a pimp. A bad 80's pimp. Plaid suits with bright yellow shits and purple ties?!? To quote Grandpa Howard from Sixteen Candles "No, he's not retarded!" He is so condescending to his female patients. He refers to them all as girls. Never women. I don't think he would know how to treat a woman. Case in point, his anorexic wife Hayley. She is beyond tragic. She is a real life Nora from Ibsen's Doll House. He speaks so condescendingly to her. He doesn't even treat her like an adult. Admittedly she is dumber than a box of rocks, but don't talk about her like she is a child. Yes, she did reheat a store bought roast chicken in the plastic box it came in, melting the box all over the oven and the chicken, but you don't talk smack about your wife. Admittedly, Dr. Rey is trying to be a better father this season than he has been in the past, but he doesn't understand how to be a parent. He went out and bought a full set of adult size instruments for his family, including an electric guitar for his 4 year old daughter. He wants them to be like the Partridge Family, but none of them can sing or play (much like the real Partridge's). The man's heart may be in the right place, but he needs to learn that buying toys doesn't make you a good parent. Be home and spend time with your kids. Maybe then your wife will have time to eat. You do great work as a surgeon, but learn how to treat people. Your bedside manner needs a lift.

Flipping Outlaw

I mentioned Jeff from Bravo's Flipping Out the other day and after watching a little more of the show I need to discuss him again. OCD is not his main issue. His biggest issue is that he is stupid. He goes on national TV admitting that he often goes into properties he wants to buy before he actually owns it and does some improvements on it before the appraiser comes to appraise it. He even admitted that he knows doing this is illegal. Not only does he put his own career in jeopardy by doing this, but he is putting his entire crew at risk. He tells his workers to keep all the doors and windows closed, not park nearby and not make noise. I realize the workers can refuse to do it, but then they get fired. This man has no morals. Dude, you do not go on national TV and admit breaking the law.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Tyra the Tyrant?

In a recent interview, ANTM cycle 1 winner, and current Mrs. Peter Brady, Adrianne Curry said they Trya is a Jeckyl/Hyde. Said Curry, "She is totally nice and sweet, but as soon as the camera are off she turns into Naomi Campbell." All I know if that if I go too long with out eating, I get angry hungry. Tyra has been modeling for how long? Give the woman a break, she is starving. And Adrianne, before you won, how was your modeling career going? And now, you are Mrs. Peter Brady. Groovy! In related news, Tyra's talk show is moving to NY and will be filmed in the studio right across from where I live, at least until I move. So I may have sightings to post about soon.

Meerkat Manor Season 3

This is not my usual kind of post, but my friend Beth at the Discovery Channel asked her friends to post on myspace about season 3 of Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet. As my blog is about TV and such, I thought I would put it up on here. So, check out Meerkat Manor season 3 on Animal Planet.

Can Jeanie Still Blink?

Barbara Eden, everyone's favorite Jeanie, has admitted to having Botox. Is anyone actually surprised at this? The woman is 73 years old, not there's anything wrong with that. But I don't think she actually needed to admit it. I think it would be more impressive for a star to come out saying she had no work done at all. This is Hollywood. A star "confessing" to plastic surgery is like Liberache coming out. Neither shocking nor necessary. But, good for you Barbara. I am all in favor of plastic surgery if it makes you feel better about yourself. Compare, then: and now:

I don't think there will be another I Dream of Jeanie reunion. Poor Jeanie lost her blinker. But I still love her.

Well Done CBS!

Last night on How I Met Your Mother, womanizer Barney (played by openly gay actor and all around cutie, Neil Patrick Harris) gets a visit from his equally sex driven gay black brother. During the episode, Barney learns that his brother is actually engaged to be married to his boyfriend. Barney has a meltdown when he hears this. As he puts it, "This is the end of single life as we know it. Everyone knows that once the gays start something, everyone else follows 6 months later. This is only going to strengthen relationships as we know them." By the end of the episode Barney has changed his tune when he finds out his brother and his fiancé are adopting a baby. Here's to CBS for giving a bitchslap to proponents of "tradtional marriage."

Kathy Griffin, soothsayer

Kathy Griffin can add one more title her name, Soothsayer. It's official, Linsday Lohan is doing a 30 day stint at Cirque Lodge in Utah. This place looks like a fantastic resort anyone would want to visit. But it is a true rehab center. For the mere cost of $30,000 for a 30 day stay, hopefully Ms. Lohan will emerge well on the way to recovery. I would love to see her bounce back from this. And now I must give a huge shout out to Kathy Griffin. Anyone family with her comedy will likely remember her talking about wanting to start a rumor about a celeb going to rehab and getting other celebs to send messages to him/her. She did this while working the Red Carpet for the Oscars. Her challenge was to find just the right star to start the rumor about. I'm paraphrasing here, but she said, "I thought about Lindsay Lohan, but you know...tick tock." She settled on Dakota Fanning. I give credit where it is due and Kathy totally called this one. Way to go Kathy!!!

And now a word from our sponsor

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Snaps to Cuba for doing this commercial and big snaps to Cialis for giving such power where it counts.

Michelle Pfeiffer - Still Hot!!!

I just saw Hairspray starring Michelle Pfeiffer. She looks amazing!!! I don't know if she had work done, or if it is just healthy living or what, but whatever it is, she does not look old enough to be a grandmother. Michelle just got a star on the Walk of Fame yesterday. From Grease 2 to the Walk of Fame - Bravo! And speaking of Bravo, Ms. Pfeiffer talked with James Lipton last night on Inside the Actors Studio. She did her Catwoman meow. She got it going on! (photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Monday, August 6, 2007

Al Roker doing lines!

I don't know what is better, his comment or Matt Lauer's expression.

Just when you thought it was safe to watch TV, this week Discovery Channel is running Shark Week. An entire week of programs about sharks. Is this something we need to see. Since Jaws, I've had enough problems going into the ocean. Why on earth would I want to watch a full week of sharks?!? I know I have the choice of not watching it, but when I channel surf, I am bound to pass it.

E! has canceled The Simple Life. Whatever will Paris and Nicole do now? Life is so unfair for skinny rich white girls. I don't even get why these two had a show to begin with. They are not interesting. Sure, there are many horrible shows on TV, but this was one of the worst. What have either of them done to warrant their own show? Being born an heiress or adopted by someone famous is not sufficient. At least have to audition. These two twits were just handed a show. They don't need the money. It is like they needed something to fill their day. I guess having that much money left them feeling empty. I wonder what they could do with it. Actually learning how to be adults was apparently too hard. And wanting to help people was not fulfilling enough.

But luckily for Nicole, she is now eating for 1. She is pregnant. And like most of the "role models" for young girls out there, she is not married. Why are celebs glorified when they get pregnant, but real people are scorned? Single is single. How about teaching kids responsibility? If you are going to put your life out there for the world to witness, you have an obligation to not send crappy messages. Being a young pregnant single girl is not a good life choice. Nicole has more than enough money to take care of her child, but this is not the case for most people in this situation. Enough with glorifying recklessness.

And speaking of bad role models and being reckless, I would be remiss not to mention Ms. Lohan. Sure, people are blaming her behavior on not having a stable home life. OK, her mom used to go out and party with her rather than being a mom, but at some point people have to take responsibility for themselves. IF and only if Lindsay wants to clean up will she. But not before then. We all remember a young actress by the name of Drew Barrymore, who by 10 years old was drinking, doing coke and hanging out at Studio 54. But she is now clean and sober and a damn good actress. It may not be too late for Lilo to save her life, her career however I think is DNR. Then again, Winona Rider has a new movie out. So who knows. I think it is time the press took a little responsibility for some of this too. Without the media, would we even know about Paris, Nicole, Lindsay, Brittney, etc? Maybe if they didn't get so much press time, they wouldn't be so messed up. Just a theory. For anyone who challenges that I ask you to check out Kathy Griffin, a self avowed media whore. She will do anything to get in tabloids, including faking being drunk. Kathy at least in honest about doing it. I don't care where Lindsay is right now or if she is in rehab. It is her life, leave her to it and stop filling my valuable TV watching time with this junk.

Let's stop paying attention to all the pop tarts and maybe, just maybe they will go away.

I am a big fan of people crossing from one show to another and last week on the season premier of Dr. 90210 I was treated to seeing Tameka, one of the Deal or No Deal models, getting a boob job. Apparently she used to stuff her bra with kleenex. I think she should be commended for taking such an environmentally sound track. No more wasting tissues to create boobs. Just a dash of silicone and she has saved a forest. On behalf of the planet, thank you Tameka!

In addition to celebrating vacuousness, TV is now celebrating OCD. Anyone watching Bravo's new show Flipping Out has seen some prime OCD moments courtesy of Jeff Lewis. The man is more compulsive than Whitney looking for a supply. He takes Sally's method of ordering to a whole new level. When placing his order for a drink he said, "I want 70% lemonade, 20% punch and 10% Sprite. If they don't have punch, I want 85% lemonade and 15% Sprite. If they don't have lemonade, I want 85% punch and 15% Sprite." Were I getting this for him, he would have ended up with 50% lemonade, 20% punch, 10% Sprite and 20% pee. I am all in favor of getting what you want if you are paying for it, but a little perspective people.

And now a quick homage to my goddess, Giada De Laurentiis. This woman is amazing, she is pretty, funny cooks amazingly well and has cleavage for days. You get her and Sandra Lee together and straight guys will be glued to the TV. One of my dreams is to have Giada to my home and cook her a meal, or even better to cook with her. Giada, if you are reading this, or anyone reading this knows her, call me. I have all 3 of her cookbooks and promise that is you follow her directions, your food will be come out great. At times, I may not like what she is cooking, but she makes cooking accessible to anyone.

OK, I am off to watch more TV so I will have more to comment on. Laters.